Despite of knowing the fact that Sara, my girlfriend was passionate about having dance, I never bothered to learn how to dance, so I could never have a good dance with her. She asked me to learn it a few times, but not too much and I din’t take that seriously. A few weeks back, on Sara’s b’day party, she had invited many friends of her. Kabir, one of his schoolmates, good looking and more attentively, a very good dancer was also invited. Kabir had gone abroad for his studies and had returned just a while ago. Upon knowing that he could dance very well, Sara was cheered up and wanted to have a dance with him. I was happy to see her happy. But, who knew that this meeting was just an inception of a catastrophe. The catastrophe that would spoil our
Long story short, Sara and Kabir used to meet frequently as Sara was working towards the production of a couple dance tutorial series. In the beginning, it all went good until I noticed they were getting more closer than needed. And, both of them were actually enjoying the time they were spending together.
It was the first time I had seen Sara this much happy with someone else since we had been in our relationship. It led to a feeling inside me which I don’t know I should call Jealousy, Insecurity, Envy or whatever.
After around two weeks, I had noticed that Sara started to loose interest in me. So, the moment had arrived when her dance activities started to affect our personal life.
I have gone through this havoc. I can never want my wife to leave me, holding someone’s hand. It was a fear inside me that’s scaring me everyday, more than the previous day. This fear of losing (or being a loser) is called the insecurity. And clearly, its because I thought I was not capable of having a good dance with my girlfriend.
At the same time, I felt jealousy with Kabir. I wanted myself to dance like him, because just because of his dance, Sara chose to meet him with this attention.
I have met several friends of Sara in recent past. A few times, they also talking about Kabir. Based upon the discussions, I am pretty sure that Kabir is a wonderful person who would never want her friend (Sara) to spoil somebody’s life for his personal benefit.
After around 6 weeks since they had started their dance partnership, I came to know that Kabir was going abroad permanently as he has got a job offer there. I was the happiest person to hear this news because it was just like my God’s gift to me who would eradicate the root cause of my intense tension.
Based upon this experience, I’ve come to the conclusion about what actually is the difference between Jealousy and Insecurity.
Jealousy is when you want something that some other one has. You are having problem because that particular thing is giving another person some benefit and making you down in any aspect. It’s due to the comparison which is so spontaneous behavior of humans.
Fear of losing. Fear of being a loser. It’s inner feeling of oneself. Most of the time, it occurs when one thinks he has got something special which is of paramount importance to him, that someone will bring away from him. It is when you feel you are not good enough as someone else. It could be with respect to job, dating or whatever.
Envy is little positive kind of jealousy, we can say. Envy is when you want something that someone else has. But, you don’t have any bad feeling (jealousy) about that person currently holding it.
If you would want to write your own experience, it is welcome.